Sunday, November 11, 2012

Thoughts on marriage and children...

After Conner was born I got to thinking about how interesting the love process is with him versus Mark. With Mark it has been a process of falling in love as we got to know each other and then through marriage and time together, but with Conner it was an immediate all- encompassing love. It's funny people always say that having a child is a strain on marriage but in my case I think it's been the opposite. I feel like it has united us more as parents and cemented our family unit.

Let's just start of by reaffirming what many of you already know and that it that I am a dreamer and a romantic. Mark, while dreamily attractive, is a realist and loves good ol' hard work. This combination is probably not the easiest and requires work and compromise.

I would be lying if I said that the first year of marriage was honeymoon bliss, because it wasn't. I think I read one too many LDS romance books and watched one two many Disney channel specials about these perfect love stories and happy endings as a teenager. This distorted my perception of marriage and how every day love is. Don't get me wrong Mark does have his days every once and a while when he forces himself to think like me and be romantic or spontaneous and I love those days. But, in that first year I wondered why Mark didn't send me loving texts every day and surprise me with gifts and large romantic gestures. I didn't understand why he worried about money and our future...didn't he understand that love is all you need ;) Well over the past three years we've both grown and understood each other more and more and learned how to compromise. I think that the real turning point was when we went to El Salvador and both served the children together there. It's funny how service really does bring love, wisdom, and perspective. (You think I would have understood this on my mission).

The second year of marriage was another one of service only this time much more on Mark's part than mine. I think it's no secret that pregnancy was extremely difficult on me. Mark said he liked it because it made me show my vulnerable side and admit that I couldn't do everything myself. I am kind of a stubborn girl :) It also allowed me to see a side of Mark that I appreciated much more than gifts and that was unconditional love, sacrifice, and service. I needed him and he was my rock.

This third year of marriage has been one of the best for me. I'm not sick, I feel back to myself again and I love spending time as a family of 3. It makes me feel legit :) We've learned the importance of making time for us as well as Conner. Luckily Conner goes to bed early so it makes this easier. I don't know how people do it who's kids don't go to sleep till 10!It also makes me love him so much more to see how he interacts with Conner and plays. Seeing how much Mark loves Conner makes me love him all the more.

I'm excited to see how the ensuing years will be. Love you babe!

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